


The Angel's Complete Guide to Demonic Spouses: 1st Edition

by SharkbaitHooHaHa



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, Married Couple, Married Life, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22589032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkbaitHooHaHa/pseuds/SharkbaitHooHaHa
Summary: Aziraphale married a demon. It comes with a few... quirks.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 153





	The Angel's Complete Guide to Demonic Spouses: 1st Edition

“Crowley?” Aziraphale called as he wandered from room to room of their cottage. “Crowley, where are you?” He sighed and put his hands on his hips. 

“Crowley!” he called again, louder this time. There was still no response. “We’re going to be late!” Not that they had to be anywhere at any specific time, but there was a new book being released today and Crowley had promised to drive him into town and pick it up, and _really_ , he should have known better than to stand between Aziraphale and his books.

It was especially frustrating because he could _feel_ the demon’s presence, he just couldn’t find neither hide nor hair of him, no matter how hard he looked.

His search was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. He hoped it had grabbed Crowley’s attention. “Darling, can you get the door?” He got no response save for the doorbell chiming a second time.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “No, no, no. No need to stop whatever you’re doing, _I’ll_ answer it, shall I?” Sarcasm was surely not very becoming of an angel, but he was getting cross.

He pulled open the door with a bit more force than was necessary, startling the poor postman on the other side. 

“Er…” The young man held a small package in one hand and a clipboard in the other. “I have a delivery for a Mr. Anthony… er… Jan-thon-y… Crowley?”

“Yes, that would be my husband,” Aziraphale said flatly. “He’s gone.”

The postman, seeming to take Aziraphale’s ‘gone’ as being the ‘no-longer-of-this-Earth’ variety, frowned. “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Do… Do you still want the package?”

Aziraphale held out a hand. “Yes, I suppose I’d best take it,” he said with a tone of resignation.

The postman tucked the box under his arm and held out the clipboard, indicating to a small form with a pen. “Great, I’ll just need you to sign he- _OH, SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!_ ” The pen, clipboard, and package all fell from his grip as he stared wide-eyed at the ceiling.

Aziraphale followed his gaze and let out a huff of exasperation. “Oh, for heaven’s- Crowley! Get down from there!” 

Crowley, sound asleep, didn’t move.

“Honestly, of all the-” Aziraphale grumbled to himself as he bent down to retrieve the fallen items. He set the package down on the small table near the doorway and quickly scribbled his name on the clipboard. 

“Static cling,” he said with a tight-lipped smile as he shoved the clipboard and pen back into the terrified postman’s hands. “I keep telling him to use the dryer sheets, but does he ever listen?” 

“I- Uh- Bu- Wha-” The postman stammered dumbly. “Wait, that’s your husband? I thought you said he was dead!”

“He’s dead to me. Ta, now!” Aziraphale said as swiftly shut the door in the postman’s face.

Aziraphale crossed his arms and glared up at the demon still napping on the ceiling in their entryway. “Crowley!”

Crowley didn’t stir.

Aziraphale picked up the package and slammed it loudly back down onto the table. The loud noise was finally enough to wake Crowley, who blinked his eyes open with a startled yelp. 

“Oh, good morning, Angel,” he said, giving Aziraphale a sleepy smile.

It wasn’t fair of him to look so cute while Aziraphale was trying to stay mad. His traitorous lips twitched upwards in a barely-there-smile but Aziraphale quickly schooled his expression. “Crowley, come down.”

Crowley yawned and stretched languidly.

Aziraphale narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me get the broom,” he warned.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Crowley grumbled as he got to his feet. Their heads were at the same height now, with Crowley standing on the ceiling and Aziraphale standing on the floor, and Crowley smiled. “Mmm, Spider-man kiss,” he murmured, gently cupping Aziraphale’s cheek and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

“I don’t know what that means,” Aziraphale said tiredly as Crowley crossed the ceiling to the wall and then made his way to the floor to stand next to Aziraphale, who was steadily losing the fight to stay mad as Crowley gave him another quick kiss.

“Oh!” Crowley spied the package on the table. “It came!” He picked it up and began picking at the tape to pull it off. “I wasn’t sure if Waterstones did release-day delivery, but that’s nothing a little demonic miracle can’t fix.” He finally got the tape off and opened the package to reveal the very book that Aziraphale was antsy about going into town and retrieving.

“You- I-” Aziraphale stammered. “What?”

“Online exclusive,” Crowley said, handing the book over with a smile. “Same as the regular one, ‘cept it-”

“It has a ribbon bookmark!” Aziraphale exclaimed delightedly, all anger forgotten. “Oh, Crowley, you shouldn’t have!”

Crowley grinned proudly. “Anything for my angel. Should we head to town, now and get the signed copy you pre-ordered?”

“Oh, yes, and maybe we can get lunch, as well?” Aziraphale asked.

“Sounds good.” Crowley opened the door and paid no mind to the postman (who still stood frozen in shock,) as he made his way to the Bentley.

Aziraphale happily trotted after him, locking the door with a snap of his fingers as he stepped around the young man as though he were simply a new lawn fixture. “Oh, and dear, next time you decide to take a nap, _please_ use the bed.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Find me on Tumblr!](acuteangleaziraphale.tumblr.com)


End file.
